Friday, August 31, 2007
Merdeka!
Happy 50th Birthday, Malaysia.
Sorry I couldn't be there to stick plastic flags on my balcony,
or sing Negaraku over and over again,
or do anything that really reflects the true Malaysian identity.
Promise I'll eat all the nasi lemak and
curry laksa when I return in December.
Cheers.
---
PS. Going to UNSW's open day tomorrow morning,
then meeting up with EJ in the city. Exciting.
PPS. I really need to study.
Happy 50th Birthday, Malaysia.
Sorry I couldn't be there to stick plastic flags on my balcony,
or sing Negaraku over and over again,
or do anything that really reflects the true Malaysian identity.
Promise I'll eat all the nasi lemak and
curry laksa when I return in December.
Cheers.
---
PS. Going to UNSW's open day tomorrow morning,
then meeting up with EJ in the city. Exciting.
PPS. I really need to study.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
I hate people who say things, or make promises
and don't live up to their word.
And what makes it even worse is that
they don't even realise it.
It really hurts sometimes.
---
PS. UTS was awesome. I'm so going to do it.
PPS. Staying at our apartment during the APEC conferences, the next boarders' weekend. Alone. What a bummer.
and don't live up to their word.
And what makes it even worse is that
they don't even realise it.
It really hurts sometimes.
---
PS. UTS was awesome. I'm so going to do it.
PPS. Staying at our apartment during the APEC conferences, the next boarders' weekend. Alone. What a bummer.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
I got a couple of my trial exam papers back, and for once, I am considering the idea of keeping the figures to myself this time. Perhaps the shame of not achieving the marks that deep down inside, I felt I could do with the amount of work I put in (like Maths, for example) really hit me. The results, if you haven't already guessed from the previous sentences of this entry, were shithole.
But no worries, right? It's just the trials. The real thing is in less than two months I believe, so I've still got time --- I must've been living in a dream thinking that. After a long (well, it seemed to be long) one hour session with my new English/History tutor on Tuesday (I will from now on be referring to him as Peter, as that is his name), the fact that I don't deserve to fail the HSC struck a nerve and I feel so determined to set things onto the right track. I now have a study plan that I've been following, and there's a constant want to study and to take things more seriously than before. It's such a good sign. Thing is, I really hope this motivation and determination stays with me for the rest of the year -- hell, the rest of my life.
There are only less than 8 weeks left till the HSC, and there's just no time to fuck around anymore. There are no second chances now. It's all downhill from here.
This weekend! Saturday. UTS and USYD are having open days. Next Saturday is UNSW, but that's for another blog entry some time in the near future. It'll be great. Hopefully my visit to UTS (finally) will give me a scope on the Visual Communications course I want to do. Since it's post-trials, all the Year 12s are beginning to apply for universities etc etc. It's going to be a busy next couple of weeks!
Better get going now.
Cheers.
PS. Got a new haircut. I feel so much better. I'm considering not growing my hair out. It's stupid.
PPS. Mum gave me these new multivitamins that are supposed to be REALLY good (proven by her doctor or whatever) for memory, health and everything. Or something. Anyway, everytime I remember something, I wonder if that's just me or the new multivitamins doing their thing. Yes, you may refer to me as a nutcase.
But no worries, right? It's just the trials. The real thing is in less than two months I believe, so I've still got time --- I must've been living in a dream thinking that. After a long (well, it seemed to be long) one hour session with my new English/History tutor on Tuesday (I will from now on be referring to him as Peter, as that is his name), the fact that I don't deserve to fail the HSC struck a nerve and I feel so determined to set things onto the right track. I now have a study plan that I've been following, and there's a constant want to study and to take things more seriously than before. It's such a good sign. Thing is, I really hope this motivation and determination stays with me for the rest of the year -- hell, the rest of my life.
There are only less than 8 weeks left till the HSC, and there's just no time to fuck around anymore. There are no second chances now. It's all downhill from here.
---
This weekend! Saturday. UTS and USYD are having open days. Next Saturday is UNSW, but that's for another blog entry some time in the near future. It'll be great. Hopefully my visit to UTS (finally) will give me a scope on the Visual Communications course I want to do. Since it's post-trials, all the Year 12s are beginning to apply for universities etc etc. It's going to be a busy next couple of weeks!
Better get going now.
Cheers.
PS. Got a new haircut. I feel so much better. I'm considering not growing my hair out. It's stupid.
PPS. Mum gave me these new multivitamins that are supposed to be REALLY good (proven by her doctor or whatever) for memory, health and everything. Or something. Anyway, everytime I remember something, I wonder if that's just me or the new multivitamins doing their thing. Yes, you may refer to me as a nutcase.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
DANIEL (Henney, of course) AND I
DECIDED TO COME TOGETHER IN MAKING A
PUBLIC BLOG ANNOUNCEMENT,
WISHING YOU A VERY, VERY
HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY! :)
Cheers, dude.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Hmm, now that felt good. I was done by Thursday afternoon, and haven't been able to jump online to tell you all the good news. It's been a very busy last couple of days too, and our dodgy 28.8kb/s internet connection doesn't help.
I had a three hour Biology exam on Wednesday, and a 30 minute Japanese speaking exam on Thursday, which actually made me wait for three and a half hours for my turn as I was the last one to do it. It was very painful, besides the fact that people someone came to visit me and made conversation about Biology and Physics while I was destressing by singing Inner Circle's Sweat out loud!
I'm currently at our apartment at Huntley's Cove, on this term's first boarders long weekend (I have Monday off!). Mum's here, she's reading yesterday's newspaper (which sported the frontpage of DRAG RACING BUS DRIVERS -- bizarre!); sister's here too, she's having a shower. What have I done all weekend?
Thursday afternoon was spent buying groceries and what not to stock up the fridge. Mum had arrived that morning, so we had a super early dinner at our favourite sushi train in Chatswood, Makoto. Friday was spent with Ew-Jun and mum all afternoon. We headed up to Flemington for our favourite bowl of Vietnamese beef noodles, and went shopping at the factory outlet store nearby, which had the BIGGEST Converse shoe store I had ever seen (and good cheap prices too)! Dropped by at the apartment to show EJ around the place, and headed back to school to pick Ri up. Mum dropped EJ and I off at the city, and we parted ways.
Friday night was spent with the girls at Darling Harbour, which I really thought was Circular Quay (where I waited for an hour just watching the ferries come into the quay and out). Had dinner at some pancake place at the Harbour Side Mall, and headed all over the place throughout the night. Yeah it was good :)
Mum and I went shopping yesterday afternoon. Mum got me some books for English and a new pair of Converse John Varvatos. Any of Rilo Kiley's albums were nowhere to be found. They can't be that obscure! Had dinner at mum's cousin's place, Chris who cooked a great chinese feast for us -- it was excellent. Stuffed with his fried rice, ba kut teh (spelling?) style soup and vegetables, we sat around his electronic heater talking and playing with Alicia's (our little niece of two years) toys. Watched The Simpsons Movie last night -- hilarious. Spidey Pig and Harry Porker anyone? :P
Supposed to be going shopping today, but the weather doesn't help at all. I dream about running away from mutated humans again. It's been two nights in a row now, and I'm trying to figure out whether it's all the excited thoughts about Daniel's new movie The Invasion or something beyond explanation.
Mum and I went shopping yesterday afternoon. Mum got me some books for English and a new pair of Converse John Varvatos. Any of Rilo Kiley's albums were nowhere to be found. They can't be that obscure! Had dinner at mum's cousin's place, Chris who cooked a great chinese feast for us -- it was excellent. Stuffed with his fried rice, ba kut teh (spelling?) style soup and vegetables, we sat around his electronic heater talking and playing with Alicia's (our little niece of two years) toys. Watched The Simpsons Movie last night -- hilarious. Spidey Pig and Harry Porker anyone? :P
Supposed to be going shopping today, but the weather doesn't help at all. I dream about running away from mutated humans again. It's been two nights in a row now, and I'm trying to figure out whether it's all the excited thoughts about Daniel's new movie The Invasion or something beyond explanation.
Apologies if this entry sounds like a dictation of what my week's been all about. :)
Cheers.
PS. Sure, the party's on for the end of trials. But when you think about it, it just means that we're one step closer to the HSC -- the end. At this rate, I'm really not ready for the big thing. I don't see how I'm going to pull through something like that. Oh well, I guess the dominant thing that pulling me through is the want to get into university. That's all. Oh, and schoolies.
PS. Sure, the party's on for the end of trials. But when you think about it, it just means that we're one step closer to the HSC -- the end. At this rate, I'm really not ready for the big thing. I don't see how I'm going to pull through something like that. Oh well, I guess the dominant thing that pulling me through is the want to get into university. That's all. Oh, and schoolies.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Just counting up all the hours I've put into studying this weekend makes me feel good. I studied an approximate total of twelve hours from Friday to now. And what have I accomplished in those twelve highly productive hours? Two out of three and a half sets of Biology notes and a Japanese report. Do I feel good? I feel great.
The thing was, this weekend I felt a strange urge to study. I just wanted to sit infront of my computer, type notes and read through all my summaries on Biology. I do have to admit though, that my eyes are starting to turn cross-eyed and my bum is getting accustomed to staying still for long periods of time. I think it's from the lighter psychological weight on my mind that's taking place. The fact that I only have two exams left, and I'm well on-top of things for the moment is giving me the confidence I need to do something. It's so nice to feel this way.
Saturday morning was spent at the gym, attempting to sneak a sprint or two into my walk. I'd injured myself last week, and was told not to do any exercise for a while. I'm reluctant. I insisted on having a run anyway. It didn't get me far though. My body's still aching, from all the rowing. The pain's a good sign.
Spent the rest of Saturday doing touch-ups for my Maintaining a Balance notes, printing them and catching up with Ew-Jun. Eventhough our little social was cut short, it was really nice meeting up with him again. We're catching up for lunch next week (hopefully!) when mum comes down to Sydney, so that'll be great. Dropped by at Kwan's place for a while, and headed back to the boarding house just in time for dinner.
The Sunday was just like every other Sunday, minus the gym with Kathy. Jude, Pear, Kathy and I headed up the road for breakfast at Bellagio, which I found rather awkward when we got the table next to my twice-ex-history teacher and Stage 6 convenor, Ms Schey. She's nice, anyway. It was all fine, minus the part where Jude started reading out stories of 15-year-olds masturbating and 12-year-olds thinking of sex from Girlfriend. We decided after breakfast that we'd all walk off our meals by going to Bronte beach, and back. The weather was perfect for a walk to the beach. It feels as if winter is taking its hike.
I think I'll talk to dad tonight. I really miss him.
Cheers.
PS.
The thing was, this weekend I felt a strange urge to study. I just wanted to sit infront of my computer, type notes and read through all my summaries on Biology. I do have to admit though, that my eyes are starting to turn cross-eyed and my bum is getting accustomed to staying still for long periods of time. I think it's from the lighter psychological weight on my mind that's taking place. The fact that I only have two exams left, and I'm well on-top of things for the moment is giving me the confidence I need to do something. It's so nice to feel this way.
Saturday morning was spent at the gym, attempting to sneak a sprint or two into my walk. I'd injured myself last week, and was told not to do any exercise for a while. I'm reluctant. I insisted on having a run anyway. It didn't get me far though. My body's still aching, from all the rowing. The pain's a good sign.
Spent the rest of Saturday doing touch-ups for my Maintaining a Balance notes, printing them and catching up with Ew-Jun. Eventhough our little social was cut short, it was really nice meeting up with him again. We're catching up for lunch next week (hopefully!) when mum comes down to Sydney, so that'll be great. Dropped by at Kwan's place for a while, and headed back to the boarding house just in time for dinner.
The Sunday was just like every other Sunday, minus the gym with Kathy. Jude, Pear, Kathy and I headed up the road for breakfast at Bellagio, which I found rather awkward when we got the table next to my twice-ex-history teacher and Stage 6 convenor, Ms Schey. She's nice, anyway. It was all fine, minus the part where Jude started reading out stories of 15-year-olds masturbating and 12-year-olds thinking of sex from Girlfriend. We decided after breakfast that we'd all walk off our meals by going to Bronte beach, and back. The weather was perfect for a walk to the beach. It feels as if winter is taking its hike.
I think I'll talk to dad tonight. I really miss him.
Cheers.
PS.
zeroesxones.livejournal.com
I decided to make a new private LJ.
Not only was I feeling bored, but I was starting
to get tired of reading my old kamikazerae entries.
Add me if you've got an LJ.
I'll be filtering out who I add,
so make sure you identify yourself!
Otherwise,
get a LiveJournal, then add me.
I decided to make a new private LJ.
Not only was I feeling bored, but I was starting
to get tired of reading my old kamikazerae entries.
Add me if you've got an LJ.
I'll be filtering out who I add,
so make sure you identify yourself!
Otherwise,
get a LiveJournal, then add me.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Day 4 of Trials: English Advanced Paper 2 completed. And how do I think I went? Failed.
Modern History tomorrow.
I need to prepare for a 3 hour exam over 4 large topics on
WW1, India 1919-47, Muhammed Ali Jinnah
and the Cold War (up to the Cuban Missile Crisis).
And how much have I done so far?
Completed WW1 notes. Half of the Indian syllabus.
I'm screwed, aren't I?
---
Modern History tomorrow.
I need to prepare for a 3 hour exam over 4 large topics on
WW1, India 1919-47, Muhammed Ali Jinnah
and the Cold War (up to the Cuban Missile Crisis).
And how much have I done so far?
Completed WW1 notes. Half of the Indian syllabus.
I'm screwed, aren't I?
---
Apart from the slow progress of failing every one of my HSC trial examinations, I've been all right. The trials don't seem to be part of my list of priorities, and it really worries me. It just doesn't feel like I'm having exams right now. It feels like a holiday, only strangely different. I've been doing a dangerous amount of procrastination, which always leaves me extremely tired, unmotivated and depressed.
I haven't had a good conversation with anyone from home in a very long time. I used to call mum every week and tell her about what's been happening at school and all the new things that I want to talk about. But lately she's been so busy and tired, that she doesn't have the time and energy to listen to me. It's as if her parental nature of being caring and patient with me has shut down, for unclear reasons. Whenever I tell her about how I've done in an exam, she'll make it clear to me of what I'm not doing at the moment, which is studying. Whenever I tell her about something that has happened in Sydney, she'll change the topic (most likely to be out of her conscious) and she'll be muttering things to herself. It's like you come home from school wanting to tell everybody you know about what happened in fourth period (for example) - so you call your mum up and all she asks you is whether you've been studying hard or not.
I've been so tired of her complete disregard for me that I've stopped calling her unless absolutely necessary. I understand that she's tired, and that's also part of the reason why I stopped calling. I'm tired too, and experiencing my own share of the stress -- and I guess my stresses and problems of school life and adulthood isn't the best thing to unload onto a very tired mother.
So here I am, sitting here taking a break before I continue studying for tomorrow afternoon's exam, and all I want to do is talk to someone. Mum's coming down for the boarders weekend the weekend after this one, and you know what -- there's a part of me that is happy that she's coming, and there's another part of me that doesn't want her to come. That other part that isn't looking forward to her arrival doesn't want to face someone who I haven't had much contact with over the last couple of weeks. I feel like a terrible daughter to say something like that, but that's how I feel.
I hope my feelings change. They probably will. But imagine: my sister, mum and I in the same household for one weekend. It spells trouble, and I can feel it. It's one reason why I kept wanting to come back to Sydney during the last holidays. I hate it when they fight. No, I hate it when my sister verbally bullies my mother. The sad part is that mum doesn't do a thing about it, and I can't do a thing about it either.
I haven't had a good conversation with anyone from home in a very long time. I used to call mum every week and tell her about what's been happening at school and all the new things that I want to talk about. But lately she's been so busy and tired, that she doesn't have the time and energy to listen to me. It's as if her parental nature of being caring and patient with me has shut down, for unclear reasons. Whenever I tell her about how I've done in an exam, she'll make it clear to me of what I'm not doing at the moment, which is studying. Whenever I tell her about something that has happened in Sydney, she'll change the topic (most likely to be out of her conscious) and she'll be muttering things to herself. It's like you come home from school wanting to tell everybody you know about what happened in fourth period (for example) - so you call your mum up and all she asks you is whether you've been studying hard or not.
I've been so tired of her complete disregard for me that I've stopped calling her unless absolutely necessary. I understand that she's tired, and that's also part of the reason why I stopped calling. I'm tired too, and experiencing my own share of the stress -- and I guess my stresses and problems of school life and adulthood isn't the best thing to unload onto a very tired mother.
So here I am, sitting here taking a break before I continue studying for tomorrow afternoon's exam, and all I want to do is talk to someone. Mum's coming down for the boarders weekend the weekend after this one, and you know what -- there's a part of me that is happy that she's coming, and there's another part of me that doesn't want her to come. That other part that isn't looking forward to her arrival doesn't want to face someone who I haven't had much contact with over the last couple of weeks. I feel like a terrible daughter to say something like that, but that's how I feel.
I hope my feelings change. They probably will. But imagine: my sister, mum and I in the same household for one weekend. It spells trouble, and I can feel it. It's one reason why I kept wanting to come back to Sydney during the last holidays. I hate it when they fight. No, I hate it when my sister verbally bullies my mother. The sad part is that mum doesn't do a thing about it, and I can't do a thing about it either.
---
We spent just about the whole afternoon after the English exam colouring. I was meant to be studying, but instead I found a more powerful distraction of fixing up the pony that Jude started colouring in.
Pony at the top with the gay colours spashed everywhere is mine.
I call it the "Chinese Pony" because it looked like a cheaply made Chinese toy.
The Little Mermaid was done by Jude, the other pony colouring of hearts and rainbows was by Nom, and so was the Hello Kitty.
We gathered around Jude's bed and coloured away for about 3 hours,
listening to old pop music (S Club 7, BSB, Moffatts anyone?)
and singing along to them.
Yep, we were that bored!
---
I better get going on those Indian history notes! Meeting up with Ew-Jun on Saturday afternoon (hopefully!) for a social around the city. Just walking like last time x) Can't wait to get out of this stress hole!
Cheers.
PS.
Cheers.
PS.
The boys did it!
CONGRATS GUYS :)
Click picture to read their last log entry!
Sunday, August 05, 2007
So I've got an exam tomorrow right, at 8.30 in the morning. English Paper 1, that's what it is. It's about the Area of Study: Journeys. Right, so all I'm supposed to do is turn up, read a bunch of texts and answer short questions on them, write a creative piece based on journeys and then write an essay on Coleridge's poems, a stimulus booklet text and one of my choice. No, it's not much to do. It's only a two hour exam anyway, no big deal. No big fuckin' deal.
Now that was sarcasm, if you hadn't already noticed. I am royally screwed for tomorrow's English exam, and I don't seem to be doing anything about it. I think it's called procrastinating. Ah, yes. Good ol' procrastinating. See this right here? Me, blogging about the exam tomorrow -- this is me procrastinating.
The thing is, I don't know whether I want to care about the exam tomorrow. English is my weakest subject, and it's the only subject I refuse to spend any time on and do any work for. I'll study hard for every other subject but English, and it kind of worries me that I don't do a thing about it. I know I won't do well, therefore I won't be expecting anything great as a result of tomorrow and Wednesday's exams. But I have a strong feeling that after the exams, once I receive my results back, I'll be wishing I did study for that exam. And when the next time comes around, I wonder if I'll be reliving the same mistake again.
I really hope I don't.
Wish me luck,
cheers.
PS. Today was the first time I rode a bicycle in 5 years. Walked to Centennial Park with friends for some morning exercise. I hadn't felt so free in such a long time. :)
Now that was sarcasm, if you hadn't already noticed. I am royally screwed for tomorrow's English exam, and I don't seem to be doing anything about it. I think it's called procrastinating. Ah, yes. Good ol' procrastinating. See this right here? Me, blogging about the exam tomorrow -- this is me procrastinating.
The thing is, I don't know whether I want to care about the exam tomorrow. English is my weakest subject, and it's the only subject I refuse to spend any time on and do any work for. I'll study hard for every other subject but English, and it kind of worries me that I don't do a thing about it. I know I won't do well, therefore I won't be expecting anything great as a result of tomorrow and Wednesday's exams. But I have a strong feeling that after the exams, once I receive my results back, I'll be wishing I did study for that exam. And when the next time comes around, I wonder if I'll be reliving the same mistake again.
I really hope I don't.
Wish me luck,
cheers.
PS. Today was the first time I rode a bicycle in 5 years. Walked to Centennial Park with friends for some morning exercise. I hadn't felt so free in such a long time. :)
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Edited! :) --
"If you do just a little research, it is going to become evident
to you that anyone that ever accomplished anything, did not
know how they were going to do it.
They only know they were going to do it."
~ Bob Proctor
It's called the law of attraction, people. The law of freakin' attraction.
Trials are going to start with one helluva bang this Friday with a three hour Maths paper that starts at 9 in the morning. Ohhhhhhh great! And you can only guess who's not feeling prepared for it.
But strangely enough, I'm not as worried about Maths than I am for English. I don't feel confident about Maths, nevertheless, considering how much study I've put into it. It's just not enough to give me a mark that I can smile and be pleased about. But English. The preparation I have put into that is almost non-existent, and I suppose that's what really worries me. I've written two prep essays, but they're both of the same module. There are three modules and a whole bunch of related text I need to know - which I haven't actually found yet.
I'm really screwed this time. I guess there's always the final exams in October, if we're looking at this positively? :]
Cheers.
PS. Left Salinger up on the bookshelf for now. Currently reading Rhonda Byrne's The Secret. All I can say is the law of attraction.
PPS. Thought about studying advertising in NYC, rang mum who implied I wasn't cut out for it and threw the idea away. It's so terribly out of my reach anyway! I'm now focused on UTS.
PPPS. Again, like so many of my other friends who don't even know that Raeville exists, she wouldn't realised I wished her here. It's the thought that counts... ?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DHIVYA! :)
